One of the flyers on display in the ‘drag / culture cabinet’ of the Queer The Pier exhibition at Brighton Museum and Art Gallery, is for a certain Club Shame. As the flyer says, this was Brighton’s Biggest Gay One-nighter, held at The Zap Club on Old Ship Beach, Brighton. The flyer advertises a 70s Theme Party on 30 October, complete with a £50 prize for the best 70s outfit.
Club Shame
Club Shame first started in 1989 by Paul Kemp (later Wild Fruit, now organising Pride), every other Wednesday night at The Zap Club. The name caused a bit of a stir initially with a few people who didn’t get the irony in the title. It was promoted as ‘exclusively for gay people and their friends’ and proved to be hugely popular.
Club Shame regular, Gavin Fett, who provided the image above, said:
“The absolute change from the normal gay scene was a breath of fresh air, to have a mixed club where everyone mixed together, dressed up, and danced the night away was totally mind-blowing.”
Club Shame devotee Michael Hootman remembers:
“Oh, I once met Boy George there and went with him to some private party he was having in a room behind the stage. My main memory of the evening was trying (vainly) to chat up some go-go boy who was one of Boy George’s entourage. And, at the other end of the scale, I also remember being punched in the face outside the club by two blokes. But yes, it was the best club in the world.”
A wedding invitation
But back to the flyer. You wouldn’t know it but the flyer is double-sided, and on the reverse of the flyer – an invitation to the wedding of Dario and Macker on 16 October 1991 at Club Shame (see below). Not only is there a “Free glass of bubbly and cake for persons dressed as wedding guests”, but there are coaches organised from Trafalgar Square and Brixton. It’s hard to imagine people would come down from London to go clubbing in little old Brighton, but Club Shame was something special – in 1990 Gay Times said “we put Club Shame forward as a blueprint of gay clubs for the ’90s”.
And here are the happy couple in question: Gary McDowell (aka Macker) on the left, and Dario Stevens on the right. Thanks to Stephanie Starlet for this lovely photo.
First loves
Dario said “I got to Brighton from the drabness of Gosport in 1989 to study at Brighton Uni, and only really came out to uni friends (well flew out, as you do), when I met Macker at the club under the Beacon Royal Hotel in 1990.
“We were first loves. We wanted to make a public commitment to each other and to let others know we were committed to each other. If straight people could do it, we thought then why not us.
”I was one of the Club Shame podium dancers at the time so Paul [Kemp] suggested we do it at the club. We needed to make it entertaining, but it was very serious for us. We exchanged wedding rings that we never took off. We were together until Macker passed in 2000.”
The wedding
Dario continues: “Macker and my outfits were sourced from costumes used in the one of the old musketeers’ movies. Our most promiscuous friend Keith married us dressed as a bishop, and our flower girl was a lady of the night.”
There isn’t a photo of Karen Sharman (aka Dolly Rocket) at the wedding, but she says:
“It was a really fabulous evening. I made a huge three tier wedding cake out of that board you use on floors under Lino, wood glue and plaster! The bottom tier had the back panel missing to hold the actual cake. It was pink and white.”
I asked Paul Kemp if he remembered the wedding, thinking he might have a few photos. He produced a VHS video entitled Gay Wedding! Massive thanks to Janet Jones for digitising it for us.
Not your average wedding video
It’s a VHS from 1991 so please lower your expectations appropriately. I’ve made a couple of small edits and added some subtitles, but apart from that it’s pretty much the footage as captured on the day.
It’s only about 6 minutes long so why not pour yourself a sweet sherry, or crack open the bubbly, just as long as you have something in hand to toast the happy couple with.
Dario has told me that “We have since lost a number of the people in our wedding party”, including:
- Paul Kurz – best man
- Russell Maddock – page boy
- Daron Hogg – appeared as Debbie Dog singing It should’ve been me
- Steve Dior – bridesmaid
- Gary McDowell aka Macker – groom
In case you’re wondering, Club Shame ran from 1989 to 1996. It took almost 20 years for UK lawmakers to catch up and for legal same-sex weddings to come into effect in 2014. Huge thanks to Dario for letting me share these precious memories.
Such a great club and that night in particular was one to remember. I was Mackers best man.